Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am available for nakedness
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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