My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
