So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
