Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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