seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize