watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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