Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
