Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize