I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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