i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
