i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
