9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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