Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
