I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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