Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
