umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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