you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
