i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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