i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
