Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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