Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize