your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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