He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
