some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
