This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
