she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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