I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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