I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
