my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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