what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize