I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
not ubering you a puppy
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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