i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
