i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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