when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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