My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this just has baby written all over it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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