C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
