i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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