she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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