he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize