Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
