I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
