false alarm. still invincible.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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