she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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