Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize