the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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