Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
you made out with another girl for some wings
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
