My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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