and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
barbara walters just said penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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