I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
