I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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