dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
