Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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