So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
