Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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