and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
