where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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