At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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