im about as happy as oj after his trial
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
