It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
And then he peed in my hair
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