I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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