she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
