That's intense
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize