Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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